Goodnight Offseason, you miserable #@$%&$

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Goodnight Offseason, you miserable #@$%&$

Tae Crowder on the first day of fall camp
Tae Crowder on the first day of fall camp
Photo: Greg Poole/Bulldawg Illustrated

Two days. The butterflies are tumbling around in your gut and you’re all twitchy with scenarios. What if it comes down to a field goal? What if Nike replaces our uniforms again? What if Chubb misses the bus?

Of course, that last one can’t happen because he’s driving the damn thing. But before the season starts there’s a few things I’d like to deposit here so that once Saturday hits we can fully focus on actual football. Talk is soon over. The toe will meet the leather!
1.It looks like the Indoor Practice Facility will be ready for use before the (potential) bowl game (and if somehow we don’t make a bowl game this season there will be enough hand-wringing and angst to make us all want to go into an early hibernation). So I want to come clean on my record here. I’ve been against it. It’s a waste of money, except on the recruiting trail. You’ve got keep up with the Joneses to impress the 17yo’s these days.
Why am I against it? We could use the money elsewhere, most notably in upgrades to Sanford to make concession lines less daunting and to help the restrooms resemble something newer than 1970’s era urinal lanes. Yes I know the upgrades to Sanford are ongoing, but they’re way overdue. Like, YEARS! But I was also against it because I could envision a day when Richt would get talked into using it just for kicks and giggles. In other words, the IPF would become a toy of convenience for current players instead of just a recruiting enticement for future ones.
I’m not sure I see Kirby being so swayed. Granted it’s still early and we’re all getting to know him, but if we’re preparing for a road trip to Jacksonville and a weather system is preparing to move across the panhandle, I absolutely do not want to read a tweet about the team heading indoors to avoid a few sprinkles. I think Coach Smart is on the same page. But I’ll be watching.
2. Don’t be swayed into believing what many would have you believe when they say North Carolina will be greatly improved on defense. Greatly improved for Chizik’s squad means they’re no longer in the 5th percentile stopping the run. Chubb will have a day. And so will Douglas. And so will Crowder and Herrien. And The Real Deal 2 as well if he can go.
3. Sakerlina plays tonight. Nothing like some junior varsity on a Thursday night. Gonna be nice to crack open a beer and sit out on the porch to watch Agent Muschamp’s bulging carotid get ‘Dored.
4. Lastly, I know I’m new here so I wanted to give you advance notice before my regular Friday pre-game post. It’s not for the faint of heart. I mean, if my pastor reads it he doesn’t mention it to me directly. So I take that as tacit approval as well as full absolution. And if my mom reads it I get text message that is partly a battle against her phone’s auto-correct and mostly a “Listen here boy” lecture. But at it’s roots the Friday Misery’s sole purpose is to set the table and ring the dinner bell.
Sure, a weekly reminder that it’s time to let the Big Dawg eat!
Let’s face it, we spend some of a game week packaging away the previous win or loss and the rest of it worrying about the upcoming Saturday’s matchup not to mention the tailgate plans, and tickets, and injury list, and the lawn that needs to be mowed and that meeting with your kid’s teacher and the injury list again and also whether you’ve been drinking too much coffee. So Friday needs to be spent setting our jaw and getting our minds set and focused on how much we hate the next opponent.

You’ve been warned. Don’t click on it unless the color baby blue makes you purely miserable.


Go Dawgs y’all!


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